Put The Parrot out to pasture

It's not often that I criticise a parrot.

C'mon, you know I love 'em.

"And what's not to love??" I hear you say.

Well, Alan Jones, AKA "The Parrot", that's what.

In the wake of the Wallabies' dismal performance at the recent rugby world cup in France (where and when the stunning parrot pictures you've been enjoying below were taken), some Nigel from Queensland has suggested the Parrot take over as coach of Australia's national rugby team.

As right-wing as they come, populist shock jock Jones last coached the Wallabies over 20 years ago. And yes, he was successful.

But the bloke's a plonker, and so is his Queensland cheer leader:

"Let's look outside the square, let's do something different, let's shake it up,'' Lewis [the Queenslander, of Jones] told Sydney's Daily Telegraph. "You need someone who comes in from outside the current philosophy of coaching which in my view is killing the game."

Anyone who implores us to "think outside the [cliched] square" is clearly incapable of doing so themselves.

As for The Parrot, did I mention he's a plonker?