I'm back, I'm back, you know it, shamone.

Well, the rugby in France was tres merde, with the Aussies putting in an all-round pitiful effort, and bloody England still in the hunt for all-round glory.

Still, for five weeks France turned on a wonderful flurry of sights, sounds and ups and downs. London, where wifey and I spent seven nights, was passable enough I suppose.

Unfortunately, neither in France nor in London did we behold even one parrot to encolour our sojourn, unless you count that poor macaw which was part of an "art" installation at the Tate Modern in London. Needless to say, I Geoffrey Boycotted that one.

Fortunately, the French have a fetish for parrots, loving nothing more than to paint them on billboards, the sides of trucks, their persons – the list is endless!

So, for the next few days I'll be treating you to a selection of the finest parrot art you're ever likely to see. It should be a wild ride.